


Dean's Laugh

by deanisbiandsoami



Series: Why? JUst why did I come up with this? [17]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Hurt, Sad, Unbeta'd, fUCK ME, self harm cw, suicide cw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-21
Updated: 2015-03-21
Packaged: 2018-03-18 21:43:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3585132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deanisbiandsoami/pseuds/deanisbiandsoami
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They were afraid Dean would deflate and be the sad kid again.</p><p>He never deflated. He was perfectly happy.</p><p>(Teen and Up bc suicide)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dean's Laugh

SAM WINCHESTER

 

The first time he's heard it was weird… not because it sounded weird, no, only because he'd never heard it before. Dean's laugh. And he'd been twelve the first time he's heard it. Dean had been a quiet and sad child. Because of their mother's death. Sam missed her but he'd never been as close as Dean simply because he was only six months old when she died. He had a good childhood, though. His father was the most amazing Dad ever.

Sam thought about this every time he heard Dean laugh. his laugh was long and loud and full bodied and beautiful. You just had to laugh with him. He was always so happy now. Dean laughed a lot it had been getting progressively more since he was sixteen. He was getting happier and neither John nor Bobby nor Sam asked him why that was. They were afraid Dean would deflate and be the sad kid again.

He never deflated. He was perfectly happy.

 

JOHN WINCHESTER

 

The first time he heard Dean's laugh was amazing… actually it was fucking terrifying because he laughed just like Mary and John thought for a moment he was hearing her voice but then he saw his boy laughing at a face Sam made. John had to laugh with him because Sam's gum just popped right in his face, landing mostly in his hair and also because Dean's laugh was almost intoxicating. Sammy started laughing as well.

John felt better with every time Dean laughed because somehow it made him see that Mary lived on in their sons, in Dean more than in Sam but still. He loved them even more then and he tried to show them everyday, and he tried to show them that their mother would always live on within them. He tried to raise them the way she would have. And in his opinion he did good. His boys turned out good grown up men, respectful, kind and smart. He couldn't wish for anything else and he thought they were perfect.

He still missed Mary, though, because she was the love of his life and he'd always miss her, but it didn't really hurt. It only hurt in the night when he was alone but then Sam or Dean visited him, or Bobby and they laughed together and it felt as if he was with Mary.

 

BOBBY SINGER

 

He never thought he'd love that goofy man so much, he never thought he'd be more than an employee -a good employee though. John Winchester was a good mechanic but when Bobby hired him he'd never thought that he'd eat thanksgiving dinner at his house or that he'd see John's sons as the closest thing he had to his own kids. They were goofy and quirky but Bobby loved them and he was proud how they turned out. He was so fucking proud. 

And hell how he loved Dean's laugh. It was honest and pure, so good it sometimes melted his heart but mostly it healed it, healed the old cracks the death of his wife had left there. It was a good laugh and he always had to laugh with him. He couldn't help it. Dean was the happiest man he'd met - at least since he was sixteen, god knows why the change, and even though he was more like an uncle than friend of his father it wasn't Bobby's to ask.

 

DEAN WINCHESTER

 

He hated them. He hated them every time they laughed. How can you laugh?! He wanted to scream. But he didn't because it would hurt them. How can you laugh when she's not here to laugh with us!! He was hurt, so hurt, by being without Mary. He never stopped missing her and he never stopped dreaming.

He saw the sad looks his father gave him and a child and young teenager when he didn't smile, laugh or even try to be happy. He'd given up long time ago, because somehow his father never taught him how to be happy without his mother.

Somewhere along the way he learned to pretend and he smiled  and he laughed. And every laugh hurt because they said he sounded like Mary and they laughed with him but he couldn't stop pretending to be happy because even though he hated them he couldn't see them sad. He just wouldn't

When Dean wasn't with his family he didn't smile, he didn't laugh he didn't even talk. He was alone and laid in his bed. He had no desire to do anything. 

Until one day he had a desire to not be. He usually was okay with just laying there and thinking happy thoughts about his mother but not today, today he wanted to fall asleep and not think. He didn't want to remember her, he wanted to see her. He had days like that before.

 

SAM WINCHESTER

 

He was concerned when Dean didn't pick up the phone so he went to his flat - noticing that he hadn't been there yet.

Sam didn't know what he was expecting but what he saw clearly wasn't it. At first Sam thought Dean had some kind of picture wall paper but as he looked closer he recognized that it were pictures of their mother. Of him and Dean when their mother was still alive of their parents, of Mary with her parents. His heart ached. This didn't suit his always happy brother.

"Dean?" He called, looking around. As he face the door again his heart missed a beat. The whole wall there was covered in words instead of pictures. The complete lyrics of the Beatles 'Hey, Jude' Sam remembered his father telling him that Mary used to sing that to them when they couldn't sleep. But that wasn't what made his heart stutter.

'I hate them.' He read 'They laugh, how can they laugh, Momma. You're not here.' He felt his eyes tear up. 'I miss you'

'I wanna be with you'

Something clicked in Sam's mind and he ran to the door which would lead to Dean's bedroom, he gasped as he saw his brother unconscious on the bed.

"Dammit, Dean!" He called and hurried to the bed, shaking Dean's shoulders. "Wake up!" He shouted at him.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry.


End file.
